Ladies and Gents, Mr & Mrs Ralph

I’m supposed to be working, but I have come over all Christmasy and so (combined with the fact that I just don’t care anymore) I have decided to give up working for a few minutes and would like to wish many congratulations to CHRIS and DEBS who have decided to have us over for Christmas. (Oh and they got engaged as well. Should probably mention that; such a scatter-brain!)

On a very romantic surprise visit to New York (Laura - don’t get any ideas. I’ve no idea how this was financed) Chris, slipped on some winter ice and fell on one knee and hurt himself. Chris turned to drink in order to ease the pain, however the agony prevented him from completing the sentence. I will put the words he missed out due to the agony in brackets, to help paint a fuller picture

“Ah, the pain, will you (go for a ‘bloody’) Mary (with) me, to ease the suffering of my pain in my (leg, foot and) soul?”

Since coming to Canada we’ve all enjoyed a drink or two, but, Deb’s over emotional, “YES” and throwing her arms around him in ecstatic joy, made him think perhaps she enjoyed a drink a bit too much (there’s always Gav and me Deb’s).

It only dawned on Chris what had actual happened, when he received the bill for the ring Debs had just ordered. But as you can see, Chris was truly delighted with how it has all turned out.

The best thing is, is that they have asked me… Yes me, to marry them in a civil service in 2007/8. Don’t worry, I have booked those two years off in my calendar to make sure I’m free! There’s NO GOING BACK NOW YOU’VE ASKED ME!

To Chris and Deb’s (joking aside) I wish you all health and happiness in your future together. (Just imagine what the kids will look like)

Under Pressure

This job is going from worse to unbearable. Thank the Lord It's only until Friday. Although surviving until Friday seems like an insurmountable challenge. Before you say it, I know it's only a temp Job! But that doesn't help!

(Am I jumping for Joy or jumping off a cliff? You'll know by Friday)

At 5pm I turn into a normal person again. I never take work home with me. It's just while I'm here it's all consuming! If I was ever in need of divine intervention, now would be a good time! And it's Christmas!! If all I have seen in the films and TV is true, then miracles really do happen at Christmas!

The Dangers of Alco-Fun!

Now, in my capacity as a Health and Safety spokesman for Britain's abroad, I have something to share with you that you should not only adhere to, but your children and your childrens children should too.

Alcohol does not improve your ability to dance!

(a shocking and vile image but you have to admit, I can still pull the shapes)

I would like to thank Ian sincerely for bringing the image into the public domain (it's a good job I'm of a forgiving nature). Hopefully something good can come out of this. I give full permissions to have this photo used in this years, government spearheaded "Don't Drink & Dance" campaign.

I would just like to take this opportunity to apologise to all my family, friends, Ian, the wedding party that was in that night, God and poor Laura who looks very frightened.

SORRY!

30-Second Update!

Thank you “Jolly Boys”! I got your card yesterday in the post. It gave me a really good laugh and I was very touched so thank you all very much.

Joanna Butler: I’m not ignoring you; I’m just 8 hours behind you. This is why I’m am never on line. Also, I don’t have the same amount of time to waste as I did working back in London. So to make you feel better “HELLO!!!”

In other news: Work has just announced that I will be replaced in January. This means that because of the holidays, I will finish here next Friday. I won’t be sad to leave this thankless job behind, but I will miss the coffee and free leftover food from board meetings.

This will give me time to spend with Dad when he’s over here. I’ll also have more time to concentrate on my forthcoming album, which is still in the ‘learning to play the guitar’ stage. Fame and fortune is surely just around the corner.

Lastly, the sun is shining today!

Have a good one,

Andy xxx

Wondered Why? This is why!

Hello everybody! How are things with you? Things with me are pretty much the same. My job keeps me bordering on insanity and I’m still not the rock legend guitarist I would like to be (I’m starting to wonder if I’ll ever get that elusive gold disc).

However, Laura is already getting worryingly good. The guitar was meant to be my thing. Her thing is that she can speak German. After 2 weeks intensive tuition I can now say “Hello my name is Andrew. Two large beers please”. All the modern traveller needs I’m sure you’ll agree!

I felt a bit uneasy this weekend. I felt like I was not making the most of this wonderful location, but I didn’t know what to do with myself. This is very like me. I have a lot of passion and energy, but have no real focus to channel it. This leads me to often get frustrated with things.

Ian came to the rescue on Saturday afternoon, by suggesting that we go for a walk around Kitsilano Beach. I had plenty of energy to spare so why not.

The sun was beginning to set which unleashed a brilliant array of pinks and purples over the clear bay. It was a sight. All nagging questions and frustrations that had been plaguing me seemed to fritter away into insignificance and I felt totally relaxed (a very rare thing for me). I really began to put things in perspective and felt a lot better for it. Life is for living good people. It’s just a lot easier to do out here than at home!

I know these photos are slolen straight from Ians blog, but I was there too, and my Dad hasn't yet worked out how to click onto Ians blog from mine. Enjoy Pops, you'll see it for yourself soon!

(From the post "Oh What a Beautiful Morning" the poem "Vancouver in the rain")

(Downtown Vancouver as seen from Kits beach)

Bizarre Party @ The Party Bizarre

Guess what! I finally took some photos of an evening out to furnish my bland looking blog. Sadly, you won't see them until after Christmas, because in my haste to leave the country I forgot my USB cable and it's coming over with my Dad.

I also know people have been requesting a glimpse of the lovely Laura, whom I have been rattling on about for a while now. Rumors abound that she is some sort of figment of my imagination, but she's real I tells ya. She just has this Batman like ability to delete any sneaky glimpses of her that I may have caught on my camera. Maybe she's a spy?

Crashing on! Tuesday night was the much anticipated Christmas bash at the Party Bizarre. It was held in a local hotel near to the shop. As I walked into the function room I was a little disturbed to see many people in sweat-shirts and jumpers that were probably last worn at Disney World sometime in 1986. It was only when I remembered that I had forgotten to dress up for the 'Most Naffist Christmas Pull-over Prize' that I finally sat down and began to relax.

My date Laura looked fantastic! However, due to the picture embargo placed upon me, you'll never know just how fantastic!

Andrew Keen began to warm to his lovely date Ian after a few beers, but we felt strangely cut off from the rest of the party. We made a few introductions to people, but as soon as the food came out the socialising was over! The food was great by the way.

We sort of left without saying goodbye, which was a bit strange. Therefore, using taxi money as an excuse to pop in and see Laura, I went to the Party Bizarre in my lunch hour the next day and finally got introduced to some more of the team. I got to thank them for their kind hospitality, and be a bit bitchy about keenie at the same time (all within earshot). I think I endeared myself a little to them (just kidding Andrew).

After the dinner, we went to the pub downstairs and played pool and mingled a little more. I decided to introduce myself to a few more people from the party. Names escape me, but there was one guy who is releasing a new album in April. How cool is that? He's a guitarist/can play everything else under the sun, type musician. I can't quite remember exactly, but I thing he may have suggested getting some people together and having a jam! That would be cool. Just give me another couple of years solid practice to get really good! (it was one of those, good idea after a couple of beers things)

I have just noticed something really cool! One of the people in the office has just asked me to order a name plate for a new employee starting next week. I mentioned that I haven't got one, but then I moved around my desk to see that I have.

It says:

Andy Bull
Temporary Administration Assistant
Corporate / Administration.

Finally, I'm someone (albeit temporary)

TTFN,

Andy xxx

It's like a home from home!

A story I picked up in the office. The people refered to are very important Board members here at Vancouver Coastal Health. I don't have a clue who they are either.

Vancouver (Reuters)

Day 2 - Vancouver Blizzard 2005 - Revenge of the Commuters

Chilled Vancouver commuters faced their second day of winter hell today, as an additional ¼ centimeter of the peculiar white stuff fell, bringing the lower mainland to its knees and causing millions of dollars worth of damage to the marijuana crops. Scientists suspect that the substance is some form of frozen water particles and experts from Saskatchewan are being flown in. With temperatures dipping to the almost but not quite near zero mark, Vancouverites were warned to double insulate their lattes before venturing out.

Vancouver police recommended that people stay inside except for emergencies, such as running out of espresso or biscotti to see them through Vancouver's most terrible storm to date. The local Canadian Tire reported that they had completely sold out of fur lined sandals. Drivers were cautioned to put their convertible tops up, and several have been shocked to learn that their SUV's actually have four wheel drive, although most have no idea how to use it.

Weary commuters faced soggy sushi, and the threat of frozen breast implants. Dr. John Blatherwick, of the Coastal Health Authority reassured everyone that most breast implants were perfectly safe to 25 below. "The government has to do something," snarled an angry Trevor Warburton. "I didn't pay $540,000 for my one bedroom condo so I could sit around and be treated like someone from Toronto."

Hello Again!

I shouldn’t moan really, Vancouver is treating me extremely well. I love the city, the people, the ‘Batcave’ (i.e. my flat), Ian (in the manliest way possible of course), the Bunac20, and I have met a lovely lady (The Über Zuber). Who could want for more???

It’s just my job really sucks!

I was flicking through some old e-mails when ordering food, and I noticed my predecessor in his goodbye e-mail to the caterer, referred to me as the ‘new sucker’. Charming! Although in fairness he did also say that I was ‘actually a nice British guy doing the work travel thing’. If he liked me, why didn’t he tell me to run! Run like the wind before I realised the full horror!

It’s not that bad. I have had worse jobs and the moneys good! So quit moaning Bull.

Gavin has landed perhaps the best job in the world! (Especially if you are Gavin). He is now an official beer quality control tester for a local B.C. Brewery. He tests for purity and colour. I can honestly think of no better man for the job… Except me!

Happy birthdays to Chris and Debs who 21 apiece. Also, our man from the north, Simon had a splendid 22nd birthday bash and Marks on Broadway on Friday. Much fun and dancing was had by all. I had an especially fun time, but I’m not going into that now. I’m sure someone will post incriminating photos before too long.

Tomorrow night is the Party Bizarre Christmas bash, and I’m Laura’s date! Cool! I’m very excited. It’s in a hotel in Vancouver, and it sounds as if it will be a lot of fun. Andrew Keen, who also works at the Bizarre, is taking a tall brunette with him. His name is Ian.

I think it may have something to do with the magic of the Cowboy shirt, or the Kitsilano air, but I have renewed enthusiasm for my guitar. I want to practice more that ever, work with my book and improve my technique so that when I am back in Ol’ Blighty, I’ll have something that that I fostered and nurtured in Canada. I want to write myself some tunes that will chronicle my time here.

Poor Ian is suffering in silence, bless him, I’m less Eric Clapton, more Andy Clapped-Out at the moment, but so help me god I’m going to get better!

Just wish all this crappy work wouldn’t keep getting in the way.

Must go another crisis has just arisen. Oh Heck!

Bully x