All change!

Attempting to blog during my PGCE year was, as you can see, a complete failure. Luckily, my teacher training was not. By god it's been a hard road with plenty of bumps and scratches along the way, but enough highs to prove that it is the job for me. One third of a masters degree and an 'outstanding' Ofsted rating at the end of the course has helped me finish on a high.

I haven't managed to come through totally unscathed. My relationship with my long term girlfriend didn't make the end of the year. I threw myself into my work, loved it, but could have taken it easier and made more time for her. I'm no martyr, more selfish, I enjoyed my work. I had to, I would not have made it through otherwise. I relied heavily on my fellow PGCE students for support and who I know will continue to be friends and crutches during our NQT year.

The PGCE is over now. Time has been given back to me. Time for reflection, time to open back up to my family who found it difficult to relate. Time to repay old friends, have a beer and conversation again rather than just sitting like a shell shocked zombie, nothing much to say just throwing darts with a half smile. Time to think, play guitar, visit places. Perfect!

Well yes and no. I have been out a lot, seen old friends and made new ones. This has been great fun. I have found new interests and had the time to research them a little in my constant quest and unquenching thirst for knowledge. I enjoy this, so don't think that I haven't been, but I find it hard to enjoy things for enjoyments sake. I like to have a purpose. I don't start work until October. It feels very distant. There I know, is my purpose but at the moment I feel very detached. It's everything to me. I'm just not very good at being just... me!

Basically I am a shit louche. I have lead a very charmed life and struggle with the fact. Bloody useless. I should give it up and give it so someone who deserves it more and would make better use of it.

Do I sound down? Not a bit of it. Time has allowed me to get fitter than I have been in the last 10 years, I'm down to a light heavyweight and my brain is as sharp as a tack, sense of humour fully restored. I just think to much. So much so, that I forget what I have actually achieved in the last 12 months. The kids that thanked me for being their form tutor or teacher, the merits, praise for students who went for it and got it. The look on my year 9's faces last period on a Friday when I had them in the palm of my hand looking at the First World War and the genuine thanks and respect from the colleagues I worked with.

"Come on then Andy, upon reflection with all things considered, had it all been worth it?"



Of course it bloody has!