A note for my 18 year old self.

With thousands of students about to fly the nest and away to University I wondered, if i could go back in time, what advice I would give to my younger self to help me through that most daunting of transitions. I did this professionally in my last school for a group of sixth formers, but for myself, what home truths would I share?

• Mum will cry when she drops you off. Be prepared because crying is contagious
• Don't worry so much. You will be good at this.
• Yes, everyone else seems to be having sex. Get over it.
• You leave uni two stone heavier than when you arrived. Learn that your eyes are bigger than your belly.
• Don't start smoking. It's antisocial, horrible and it's a bugger to quit, which you WILL do!
• Never ever in your Greek History seminars call out "it's all Greek to me" when you don't understand something. Academics are not known for their sense of humour.
• If you decide to fall in love, go for it. Just remember never to alienate your friends, as they're the people who will help you pick up the pieces again when it all goes belly up!
• Always keep a little bit of yourself private. You'll need it. Probably in your second year to fall back on when times are tough.
• Never use the condoms the University gives you. There is a reason they are free.
• Don't compare yourself to other people. It's impossible for a start and you never know how messed up they are.
• How people perceive you and how you perceive yourself are often two very different images.
• If a woman gives you nice big hints that she likes you, don't freeze and be all prudish because you're a coward. No man ever went to the grave saying he wished he'd snogged less women.
• Try as many sports as you can. Especially skiing, become Club Captain and win club of the year at the AU dinner. Because I bloody well enjoyed that moment.
• Be yourself, choose you're own path and walk tall. People will respect you for it (As long as you don't go all weird then people will just talk about you behind your back)
• Share everything but if you do be prepared to loose it all. It's replaceable anyway.
• It doesn't matter that you don't really like clubbing. Some people are just like that.
• Be brave. Try new things. You're young enough to bounce back. If I tried the same again, I may go crunch.
• The secret to women, is a mystery. I don't know the answer and anyone who says they do, is a charlatan and lair and deserves your pity.

Have fun the class of 2010. Jealous? Well I have done it twice now, and it's about time I got a proper job. Good luck one and all x.

The Father, Son and the Holy Pope.

Father and Son. Paul and I

I have a confession to make. For the schadenfreude I am about to relieve myself of, may Ian have mercy. The story goes something like this. When we met up for our weekly darts night a couple of weeks ago, he greeted me with the sad news that he had split up from his girlfriend. I hit my head against the wooden panelling of the pub in shock. I know how keen he had been on this young lady. I really felt for my friend.

However, the shock subsided and was replaced with a rather warm feeling of solidarity. You see both Paul and myself had become single a few months before. We have played a lot more golf together as a result. Paul can always be relied upon in a dark hour to hit some balls or play darts with. However, I felt there was one man missing. The warm feeling was knowing that "we've got him back, the Holy Trinity is reunited". Only until the next one comes along of course, but that will do me. We can split cabs now, stay out late and generally make merry at weekends. Bloody selfish I know, but what the hell, I didn't split 'em up, so I intend to take full advantage.

Two words came from Ian that sing like a choir of Angels in my ear. "Gentleman's retreat!" A weekend in the Brecon Beacons with some of the old Canada crew and a few hand picked special guests. Seven in all. All boys. Not loud, shouty, aggressive boys. People whom I know well, shared a lot with, respect and who are bloody funny. I have not laughed so much on a weekend for a long time.

Intrepid explorers.

Plus when boys get together, we get adventurous and a little bit silly. As a result our waterfall walk gave us both stunning scenery, a magical insight into the inside of a waterfall and double pneumonia. But we didn't care. Got back to the hostel, got showered and got a curry! No complaining, just jokes that next year we should do a city break as we marched soaking wet back to the car park.

Ian and Paul.

It just seemed as if all the moon and the starts had aligned themselves for a weekend of good clean wholesome fun. One that took my mind right off my own petty worries which I needed shaking from and returned me healthy, happy and contented. Now don't get me wrong. I love spending time with women, very much so. Especially on the sofa with a bottle of red and a good rom-com. I hope those days are not too far off again. But I also know that some of the group are already pairing off and settling down. Sometime soon, we won't all be able to saunter of to the mountains at the drop of a hat. Myself included. I'm a teacher! So if this was a last big hurrah together, than thanks for the memories boys. You were there when I needed you.

All change!

Attempting to blog during my PGCE year was, as you can see, a complete failure. Luckily, my teacher training was not. By god it's been a hard road with plenty of bumps and scratches along the way, but enough highs to prove that it is the job for me. One third of a masters degree and an 'outstanding' Ofsted rating at the end of the course has helped me finish on a high.

I haven't managed to come through totally unscathed. My relationship with my long term girlfriend didn't make the end of the year. I threw myself into my work, loved it, but could have taken it easier and made more time for her. I'm no martyr, more selfish, I enjoyed my work. I had to, I would not have made it through otherwise. I relied heavily on my fellow PGCE students for support and who I know will continue to be friends and crutches during our NQT year.

The PGCE is over now. Time has been given back to me. Time for reflection, time to open back up to my family who found it difficult to relate. Time to repay old friends, have a beer and conversation again rather than just sitting like a shell shocked zombie, nothing much to say just throwing darts with a half smile. Time to think, play guitar, visit places. Perfect!

Well yes and no. I have been out a lot, seen old friends and made new ones. This has been great fun. I have found new interests and had the time to research them a little in my constant quest and unquenching thirst for knowledge. I enjoy this, so don't think that I haven't been, but I find it hard to enjoy things for enjoyments sake. I like to have a purpose. I don't start work until October. It feels very distant. There I know, is my purpose but at the moment I feel very detached. It's everything to me. I'm just not very good at being just... me!

Basically I am a shit louche. I have lead a very charmed life and struggle with the fact. Bloody useless. I should give it up and give it so someone who deserves it more and would make better use of it.

Do I sound down? Not a bit of it. Time has allowed me to get fitter than I have been in the last 10 years, I'm down to a light heavyweight and my brain is as sharp as a tack, sense of humour fully restored. I just think to much. So much so, that I forget what I have actually achieved in the last 12 months. The kids that thanked me for being their form tutor or teacher, the merits, praise for students who went for it and got it. The look on my year 9's faces last period on a Friday when I had them in the palm of my hand looking at the First World War and the genuine thanks and respect from the colleagues I worked with.

"Come on then Andy, upon reflection with all things considered, had it all been worth it?"



Of course it bloody has!