Snooze Helmet for a safer BC!

Naturally, we all spring into work in the mornings full of vigor and enthusiasm, making it our days mission to keep BC safe! (see pic 1)

(Pic 1: Me, ready to work for a safer BC!)

However, sadly, after a long rambling lunch following an evening where you may have had half a glass to much red wine, we are not always at our best. If a doctor were present, they would undoubtedly prescribe a snooze.

Senior Managers, versed in 20th Century management techniques, may not yet be aware of the long term health and output benefits of snoozing.

Therefore, may I present my latest invention (see Pic 2). For the bargain price of $200 you to can own a snooze helmet, individually crafted for the wearer, faultlessly assimilating your natural features, to project a happy and alert visage for the boss, while you are taking a quick power nap and keeping BC safe.

(Pic 2: Am I awake, or am I asleep? Its impossible to tell with uncanny detailing of the Snooze Helmet)

Everyone's a winner with Bulls "Snooze Helmet".

Order now, Make cheques payable to CASH.

Andy the Gr8!!!

You may have guessed from my egotistical title that I finally did something good! More familiar readers will also know that it was 5-aside football last night. I usually average around 3 goals per game, once I got four. I'm usually lagging somewhat behind King Banks, but I take heart that I never actually know what team keenie is playing for.

Last night only 15 people turned up which meant we could only muster 3 teams. This in turn meant that we would play 14 mins on and 7 mins off. Over the coures of 2 1/2 hours we managed to play 12 games.

The more you play the more chance to score, plus the opposition get tired. This coupled with a tiny bit of skill and a lot of huff and puff contributed to my goal tally of 8 last night.

King Banks maintained his usual standard of play making and dribbling excellence, setting up a number of my 3in tap ins, and Keenie was heroic in defence. Keenie even scored twice, one of those was in the opposition net. Classic Keenie!

We only lost two games to my memory. Afterwards many ambuli were called to deal with the exhaused ex-pat footballing community as we were all in the later stages of dehydration.

On my return home I found British Hannah there. Welcome Hannah from the motherland! She brought proper chocolate, todays newspapers and proper sized bottles of Newcastle Brown Ale. What a star!

From Cockney to Cowboy!

Howdy Ya'll


I'm Back. Miss me? Of course you did! Straight to business.

Last week I went with Laura back to her hometown of Roswell, New Mexico, via Texas to meet some more of the Zuber clan, and what seemed like the rest of Roswell (seriously, the Zubers know everyone in that town). I was a little nervous about staying with her family and meeting her father Colonel Kenny Zuber for the first time. I wondered what they would make of the foreigner dating their only daughter. I'll start from the beginning. Meet R. Dub. He's a Texan through and through. It was with him and his girlfriend (Laura's old roomate), that we stayed with in Lubbock Texas on our first night. As I got off the plane in my ski jacket, I noticed the tempreature outside was a mild 88 degrees. I soon dispensed with the layers I had become accustomed to wearing in Vancouver.

I wasn't quite sure of what to make of R. Dub when I met him. He seemed very friendly, but I think we were a little cautious of eachother at first. Until that is, I learned of his love of home brewing. The pic shows, R. Dub with his beer taps (root beer on the right for pre 9am drinking). Needless to say we both ended up getting plastered drinking his 7.7% Winterfest ale. Arm in arm, we went to visit some of his friends down the hall. Later on I gave him my concidered opinion of some of the fine British ales he will soon experience when he comes to Britain.

Next morning, we both wake up hungover, go to play shuffleboard, and he asks me "Andy, do you smoke Cigars". I had to reply in the negative, but R. Dub, what a guy!

Laura soon dragged me away from my new best friend. She took me on a tour of the Texas Tech campus where she was a student. It's the largest campus Uni in the States. It was vast. The most interesting thing was comparing it to British Universtites.
NO BARS! Texas Tech is in the buckle of the bible belt, and drinking is over 21's. All the students get to go is play sports and study hard. What a waste of an education! Seriously, that facilities put British uni's to shame. Howver this does come at quite a hefty financial cost to the students. To study here is not cheap.

Later that day Kelly (Laura's youngest brother) came to pick us up and drive us the 200 miles back to Roswell. He was with a family friend Ryan, a US marine. I was surrounded by these two huge slightly scary looking fellas wondering how I was going to make it through the next week. I was too afriad to even make eye contact with poor Laura, just in case I got jumped on.


Happily, Kelly was an absolute charmer. The next day while Laura went to the dentist, Kelly took me Golfing. This photo illustrates the only straight driving I managed that day.
Kelly playing a shot up to the green. No it's not a bunker, it's just how dry New Mexico is at the moment.
Sadly more style than substance. I think my handycap is lurking dangerously near the three figure mark. Kelly thrashed me, but had the patience and good nature to forge my scorecard so it didn't look to bad.
Next day Laura drove me to the Carlsbad Caverns. It was here that Laura and me bacame proud parents of our adopted bat called Pinky. We sat Mum and Dad down to tell them the joyous news, but they only seemed happy when we told then it was just a bat. What else were they thinking I wonder!

The view from the Caverns car park. Absolutely stunning.
The Caverns themselves, aare the most spectacular I have ever seen. They were beautiful and dramatic. I know none of you will appreciate that so I took a photo of one that looked like a boob!

Laura and me out by the lakes

The lakes and the dam. This is where Laura ans her family learned to water ski, on THEIR boat! How cool is that

Be warned! Not all roads lead to Rome.

Meet the Colonel. After showing me the stuffed heads of the animals he has shot, he showed me how he did it! Perhaps a subtle warning not to get too close to his daughter. Big boys toys! Great fun.
Welcome to White Sands (guess why it's called that?). This had been created by gypsum rubbing together to create a brilliant white sand. It is the largest gypsum sand plane in the world. The dunes form a dramatic and phenomenally beautiful landscape.
So what do you do with it? Get a sled and slide down the dunes on your bum, thats what!
Laura and me on the dunes
Me attempting to snowboard down the dunes
Daniel (Laura's middle Bro), indulging in the new sport of running off a dune jumping and seeing how far you can fall. 6.0 for artistic impression.
Back in Roswell, with the Colonel in Millitary uniform with his most prized possession (even more so than the Oryx head)
Roswell, being the home of the alien landing some 55 years ago has a little museum and research centre for people who are curious as to what really happened at area 51. But and area as pretty as Roswell wouldn't play on the aliens to drag in the tourists would they??? A spaceship shaped Macdonnalds
The street lighting is out of this world (I also get Paul to write my Jokes for me)
On our last day Daniel, Laura and me went out to the lakes to take in some of the Big Country and enjoy the sunset.
Views of the craigs
Laura and Daniel lookign cool, calm and collected
Looks like something out of Pride and Prejudice. A wind swept LauraOn out Last night I was treated to another Zuber tradition. Earlier in the week, we had a fish fry where the Colonel frys up all the fish he has caught in a light batter. It's so good even Laura let's her vegetarian crown slip a little for this one. This though id the famous wiener roast.

Basically you roast cook your hot dogs over an open fire and have it with Chilli and baked beans. Nancy (Mrs Zuber) cooks the most wonderful baked beans in a tomato sauce with a little onion and brown sugar. They were fantastic.

Laura and me also went into Laura's mums school to do a presentation about the UK and Canada for her class of 10-11 year olds. The children seemed to like my presentation. My favourite question I was asked was "are the guards at Buckingham palace allowed to blink?"

I was sad to leave the Zuber house hold. They had made me feel so welcome. The Colonel had even given me one of his flick knives to take home as a momento. Nancy also gave me some new PJ's to take back with me. I got them both a little something to say thanks for having me, but it was a small token for what was a big thanks.

I had a really fantastic time. I enjoyed meeting all these new people (some of whom though I came down to ask for the Colonel's permission to marry Laura. Small towns!) and it helped me to learn about Laura a little more which is all good!

I wondered if the trip had any affect on me. I love the big country it's people and it's ways. I have always secretly wanted to be a Cowboy too. Nevertheless, I think I'll always be me and I'll never really change.

So Goodnight Ya'll and DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS! YEEEE HAAAWWW!

Ol' Man Bully is back in town

Since Ian, who is actually 14 months older than me, has given me a new nic-name I thought I'd use it to announce my return to Vancouver .

I'm back!

Moving swiftly on, I had a really great time and Laura is still speaking to me. So in conclusion, the trip was an out and out success!

I'll try and post some of the pics I took over the weekend for your viewing pleasure.

Stay tuned.

Your ever faithfull servant,

Ol' Man Bully.

Ben Lee and the 'Night of a 1000 Riffs'

Bonjour.

I must warn you that because I will be in Texas and New Mexico next week, I probably won't be able to write any posts. I'll hopefully be too busy relaxing and enjoying myself. Nevertheless, I will be making full use of my camera so expect a full report once I return.

Wednesday night Ben Lee was back in town strutting his unique brand of antipodean stuff. Ian had raved about his performance last time. Trusting Ian's taste implicitly, I parted with 20 hard earned dollars and went to Richard on Richards.

For those Vancouverites who have yet to visit Richard I would seriously recommend going. It's a big arena, but seems to remain quite cozy. Very cool.

I quite liked Ben Lee and his blend of soft jovial songs. I did find him a little same-y towards the end, but I was pleased that Ian had bought his CD he was flogging. Not only for the amusing comment left on the back cover from Ben himself, but for some of the rhythmic tunes that are still buzzing around my head.

Thursday night was a bit of a treat of me. Robert James works with Laura at the party Bizarre, but is also a professional musician. He's been with a top 40 band for the last 8 years and is now working on some solo projects. I have put a link to his website under my music section.

Being a kind chap, he invited Laura and me around for a jam and play on his fab guitars. I have never really jammed before, and I really enjoyed it. I felt I learned quite a bit too. Below, in reverse order are us on 'The Night of a 1000 Riffs'.

Our host on a miniature Taylor
The Uber one on his signature frontman hybrid
Me, showing the professionals how it's done.
Me looking strangely over weight (don't panic Mum) on an Ovation electro acoustic.
Laura looking cute in my fleece (I'm never going to get that back) after playing 'The First Cut is the Deepest'.
Robert, picking away to one of his own tunes. What a cool flat!
Me making sweet music with a classic 1976 (I think) Washburn.

What was even cooler is that Robert asked if I played many cafe's or bars. I'm sure he was just being nice, but I felt I was playing ok. I felt great afterwards. I'm like a 10 year old with a new toy.

I also got to play a mandolin for the first time, and the banjo. I have picked up a banjo before, but didn't really have a clue how to play it. I still don't but at least I now knew that this one was tuned to an open G!!! I think, I'm going to have to go elecrtic soon.

Thanks for indulging me with my hobby.

So, that it folks for a bit. I'm off to meet the Colonel and other members of the Zuber family and friends in New Mexico next week. I'll post a full report when I get back.

Until then,

Andy

30 second Update

Apologies for the lack of posts recently. This will change when I get some time off of work to:

a. Post photo's on the blog

b. to have actually done something noteworthy enough to maintain the high standard of high jinx upon this blog.

Last night was football night. The blacks were down to just King Banks and myself. This was due to Keenie being called up by Sven on his rotation system for tonight's friendly, and Chris disappearing somewhere for something!!!

King Banks and I joined up with a Canadian called Mat, Jesper and Tom. To be fair, we out battled the opposition. Even the dastardly whites only beat us once in 4 attempts. Our favorite player Raj, was submitted to a heavy barrage of fowls', mainly by me and King Banks, because he's a twit. Things got a bit physical.

After the King hit a deflected shot off Raj for a superbly taken 'Own Goal', I scored to hammer the final nail in the coffin. Raj refused to play with us anymore and ran off to play with the reds, swearing at himself. It's the first time I have ever agreed with him.

Raj is the best player and it's his fault for winding us up, so don't you dare feel sorry for him.

Coach was also present. Paul game up with he Coaches Drinking game. You see the coach isn't really a coach. He's a guy that just sort of took charge, but always shouts encouragement to his team .....in Canadian.

"find your legs boys"
"great upper body assist" (Header)
"great back up" (Counter attack)
"Line" (Square)
"Square" (Line)

Are all worth 2 fingers if shouted during the game. If he scores you have to down your drink!

Other rules to be made up on the spot by King Banks or myself, due to the spontaneity of the man. I miss coach when he isn't there.

Be back soon!

£40million pound bank robbery, Kent.

Police believe it to be the work of thieves. The whole pattern is extremely reminiscent of past robberies where they have found thieves to be involved - the tell tale loss of property, the snatching away of the money substances. It all points to thieves.

B. Tutt (PCAS).

All Things considered

I'm off for a holiday to New Mexico in a couple of weeks. This got me thinking that I have been in Canada nearly 5 months already. It's gone so fast, I can't imagine the next 7 months going any slower.

I am pretty settled in Vancouver. I love the batcave. Living with Ian has proved as harmonious as I could have possibly hoped for (wait for the ear bashing that been brewing in him when I get home) and I'm surrounded by people who like to give new things a try. Instead of ideas being shunned on the perception of 'Being Sad', even slightly crazy ideas such as the roadtrip are met with "I'm in" and to quote the title of Simons Blog "Why Not?".

Part of me thinks this s because we're in a foreign country and therefore only have a limited time to try all these new things, we are more inclined to take a few more risks. But what harm has it done us. NONE! And I don't think it will. We're not stupid. Just open minded and enthused
So why stop when we get home? We'll even be in a better financial state to do things there? It's easier to get built into a routine at home, but we are blessed with lost of things to do, especially if you live in London.

We have the opportunity to start anew when we get back to Britain and I'll relish that challenge when it comes. Nevertheless, we still have 7 glorious months of warmer sunny weather to look forward to here before we go back. So lets start as we mean to go on, because I honestly don't think I've ever been happier.

Thanks everyone! (especially Ian and Laura for putting up with me beyond the call of duty)

Cheers,

Andy

Happy Valentines Day Everyone. From the Hoff

I have completely ripped this off a freinds blog, but my justification is that the Hoff belongs to everyone!!

Quick!! Get your factor 30!! The sun is here

Ladies and Gentlemen. Firstly, I would like to thank all of you who have voted for my blog in Si's best Bunacers blog competition. It means a lot to me and I am still ahead of Ian (There have been charges laid against me that I am a Multiple voter and a terrible guitar player. Fear not dear reader, there is not a grain of truth to these libelous accusations. I am merely a developing guitarist)

On Saturday I decided to take myself off for a haircut. As I stepped outside of the batcave, I had trouble seeing. I couldn't work it out. I ran back inside and shook Ian out of his alcohol induced coma. His wise old hurting head pointed out that this was in fact sunshine. It had been so slong since I had seen any that I dropped my book and bus pass and grabbed my camera. As I walked to the barbers, and then onto North Vancouver where we met up with Si and Gav, I took a pictorial record of this 'sunshine'. Just incase I didn't see it again for a few months.

Welcome to Kitsilano!

This is Kits beach. It's a beautiful walk at any time, but when the sun comes out it's glorious. Summer here is going to be fantastic. Look at the mountains in the background. Oh how I miss Ilford.

Downtown as seen from the Burrard Bridge

Again from Burrard bridge. This view looks out towards the coves of English Bay. Next stop Japan!

The houses here are often smartly painted. They are all protected buildings and therefore have to be maintained by law. They probably date from about 1910 -20. It reminds me of San Francisco a bit.
The Vanouver Club, for the more discerning members of Vanouverite society. Ian and I are of course members, but don't tell the others, it only causes jealousy.
In the afternoon we took the ferry over to North Vancouver. The best thing about North Vancouver is the view back to downtown & the Q hotel which has a giant revolving Q (as seen above) which is very large. However it also possesses some remarkably good charity stores which we ransacked yesterday. Ian gave and Si bought anybody 30 Cassette tapes of 80's classics (we don't even have a tape player), American Monopoly and Canadian Trivial pursuit, which we played last night. We were pretty crap to be honest, but we made the best of it and had a good laughed. Ian even put on some of my Jazz CD's. Could it be possible that I have fallen into fashion???
The View back to Vancouver from the Q hotel.

Gavin won the Trivial pursuit. I think he had an unfair advantage as he was the only person alive in the 1970's. The version of the game we bought in the shop was the 1981 genius edition. Poor Chris at 21 had not a chance bless him. Keenie was the surprise package. He knew a lot of the answers to the questions, especially the ones he was asking (Suspicious!!!)

Righty Ho, must shoot off. I have some business to attend to. I would read through and spell check, but you're only going to look at the pictures aren't you!!!!!

Love to all,

Andy xxx

All hail the power of the Blog!

Laura was walking back up Davie on her way home/out and stumbled into Paul 'Banksy' Banks (origional). Mrs Banks, who is currently in Vancouver to open the newest wing of the Paul Banks residence cried out in shrieks of excitement "that's Laura, Andy's Girlfriend!"

It just goes to show that those of you lucky enough to be mentioned on my blog can look forward to fame and fortune. Manifestly, go to Simons Blog and vote mine as the best of the Bunacers (even though Ian's is clearly better) so I can claim the star prize.

I look forward to munching on my mars bar winnings!!!

In other news: everything else is fine. That flat is looking quite tidy.

Thanks very much,

Andy

Hey!! We're off to New Mexico!!

Yes, it's true. Laura is taking me home! Don't worry, not to keep, just to borrow. I have left Ian with food in the fridge and the Video Club membership card, so he'll be well looked after.

I'm going on March 7th and returning on 15th. I'll finally have something exciting and worthwhile news to challenge the growing number of young upstarts who have created their own blogs and are challenging the supremacy of the Old Guard, of which I count myself.

Mr and Mrs Banks are in town!! How exciting. Mrs Banks, being a devoted fan of nextquestion is obviously a woman of sound judgment, sophistication and taste. I am looking forward to meeting them both, if Paul can fit Ian and myself in during their busy schedule.

Other news: The sun came out yesterday. Many Vancouverites ran about screaming thinking the world was at an end. Ian and me, sensibly waited until after dark to go out for a walk. All those UV ultra-violent rays could seriously damage skin that hasn't seen the sun since 2005.

Oh last thing! We had a video night on saturday and watched Casablanca. It was very cool. Ian and I had to set the scene a bit, telling Jade, Hannah, the South African (I think her name is Gilly??) and Laura, the fact that their was a big war a long time ago and it made people very sad and they had to move house!

Once the scene was set the film made a lot more sense. We all had a great night. Must do it again soon.

TTFN!

Happy New Year (of the Dog)

Hello dear reader,

It's been too long I know. However as a faithful servant to my public, I have nipped into the internet cafe after work to share in the Chinese New year revelry.

We were first attracted to the New Years parade because it was free to go to and our rent is due at the end of the week. Despite the perma-rain and grey sky's, we ventured down to Chinatown and were quite taken aback at the size of the crowd

(the entrance gate to Chinatown and the back of the parade)

(Ian getting in the way of another perfectly good picture)

There was a real vibrancy to the celebrations and lots of colour to brighten up the gloomy sky.

As I mentioned it was packed and I nearly lost Paul, Ian, Andrew and Laura in the rush. You really wouldn't have thought that this was right next to one of the roughest areas of Vancouver

There were also some scary dragons about. It really was very impressive.

As you can probably tell, I like the Dragons.

This is the Band that I want as my wedding. They were all dressed as dogs and played funky Jazz. Good stuff. I think the saxophonist nearly drowned from the rain though.

The parade lasted probably about an hour in total, which was just enough. Even Laura said she enjoyed it, although the poor thing was shivering throughout.

In other news, my work placement has been extended until the end of February which is very good news, as I have exactly $8 to last me the rest of the week (don't panic mum, I have bought my bus pass and paid my rent ($600 in one hit) and put some food money away). I faxed my timesheet 41 times today just in case.

I'm still playing 5-a-side football. Although one twit did try to break my left leg last week. He seemed to come off quite badly too so all seems fair and even. Should be able to play again tomorrow to support the mighty Banksy!

Until we meet again dear readers.

Andy xxx